Help Line Blog

Let us talk about what can be the loneliest time of the year.

Why do people allow loneliness to creep up on them over the festive season, often feeling that they are not welcome anywhere and have no friends to spend this time with, when in fact there are many options open to them if they really wanted to spend time with people and not be alone in the festive season.

Often when people discuss their particular situation during the festive season and it becomes clear that they, in fact, have spent the festive season without company you will hear comments like “why didn’t you come to us, we were alone too ” or ”You should have popped over, you know that you will always be welcomed in our family” making you realize that you had many options to choose from.

I am not saying that there are some folks out there that truly have nobody to turn to but even in those circumstances choices can be made and opportunities are available should you wish to make an effort.
The hardest thing to do is sometimes the drive to take the first step and then it can become even harder to follow through as doubt sets in and the most destructive of emotions, namely self-doubt and self-pity gets hold of you and repeats itself like a mantra the possibility that you are going to fail as this is what is making you be alone in the festive season.

Obsession with our own shortcomings can rule the way we see the world. No matter what choices we get or how many doors might be opened for us creating new opportunities in life you still have to put some effort into it yourself and can’t expect everything to be done for you so maybe by seeing the glass as half FULL instead of half empty is a good place to start.

In saying that, we need to get back to the issue at hand dealing with loneliness over the festive season, why don’t you start immediately by looking up associations in your area who have holiday programmes and meals over the festive season, you should reserve a seat at one of their functions like lunches or suppers, these are surprisingly affordable and you can meet some really nice people there who find themselves in the same situation as what you are in.

You should also look at going to a market of some sort and browse around talking to people, you never know who you strike up a chat with and what the outcome could be, you might even end up having a drink or a meal with another person and gain a friend that way, if you can succeed then you won’t be alone in the festive season.

Set some goals and start making the effort to get outside of your comfort zone and start taking those first baby steps in the right direction. Remember you are not the only lonely person out there, all you need to do is find the other lonely people looking for friendship and you will open up a whole new world for yourself.
I wish you luck and a happy festive season, please leave your comments on this Helpline Blog and share your success with me.

I am the kind of person that people trust with their secrets, the go-to person when they need advice, the shoulder people like to cry on and the best friend you can wish for, so I want to offer my expertise to others out there with a need to confide in an outsider because they want their personal business to stay private. I have lived an interesting and exciting life raising 2 kids as a single parent, I have taken many different directions in life to make the most out of situations placed before me. Many a milestone was not an easy one but with the Grace of God, support of my friends and family and sheer determination I have overcome them and moved on. I have often been in a "lonely" place in my life and this does not mean without a man, it means that I wished I had someone to talk to and throw around ideas with, listening to their take on a situation and feel that it is OK I can do this ....... When you live a rogue life, I found you don't always want to admit to the outside world how hard it is, they might even envy you and say, gosh she is such a strong person, nothing ever gets her down, she lives life to the fullest and seems fearless in what she is doing. The phrase "Only fools rush in where Angels fear to tread " applied to me for sure, I tried to hide my insecurities with bold moves and looking confident about it. Little did people know just how much I needed that WRONG NUMBER to call and vent just a little bit whilst listening to some reassuring sounds. I am now retired and feel a huge empty space within me, I miss the interaction with people and the general buzz of normal day to day life around me. My thoughts are that there must be lots of people out there with the same basic needs of comfort, advice and a WRONG NUMBER to call just to vent, and that is why I have started this Blog. Please join me and let's take this journey together.